The twin flame dynamic may be is one of the most challenging in your life, for me definitely is. Although there are general stages:  soul recognizing, love bombing, separation (runner – chaser dynamic), looping until the permanent and harmonious reunion, I am not going to talk about these stages because I believe that It can keep you stuck and feel tempted to check yourself after those, and create more confusion.

One constant and excruciating feeling in this dynamic is the confusion of everything that you are, you feel, you do, you say, so. My intent is to support you through this journey by helping you regain trust in your intuition, not in my journey or my words. My role is just to inspire you, I hope, to believe in your heart voice, in love.

The separation stage is extremely important. because only in this stage you are becoming self-aware, you are doing the necessary inner work, owning every experience and preparing for the manifestation of your heart’s desire, as you are the Magician.

From our first encounter, my twin and I recognized each other, that was one of the most amazing moments of my life so far, first time when my heart felt home, safe and also in love … wow, still gives me chills! After a while, timeframe can differ from couple to couple, we broke up out of fear, overwhelming feelings, distance issues .. all in one, self-sabotage mechanism, feeling at the core that we are not worthy of this kind of love.

Why did we self-sabotage, even if we both knew that we had everything that we ever desired? Why are we all self-sabotaging? On a spiritual level, we just absorbed the collective negative programs, that are run by the mind, ego. On earth, almost all people are controlled by the Matrix – meaning they feel they are not in control of their lives but controlled by someone or something. The movie “Matrix” (1999) explains this, if you want to (re) watch.

On a psychological level, we do this because we made a decision long time ago not to be vulnerable again, it was an unconscious decision, that probably you don’t remember making it, in reaction to something that happened to us us children (in this life), as souls– during all the lifetimes that you spend apart from your other soul. That experience was overwhelmingly painful, so painful that we resolved by never feeling again, by refusing to do anything that might bring about that pain, so we vowed to: never again ask for what you need, never open your heart, never trust in any way, never be here all the way, never show the truth of who you really are. It was the perfect way to protect ourselves and regain some control at a time when we felt powerless.  The trouble is that decision, that defense is still running your life with vigilance, so when you reach for love, for expansion, for evolving, that part of you wakes up, thinking you are in danger and puts a stop through procrastination, isolation, avoidance, perfectionism but it’s really just fear. Fear of being hurt again. The realization is the understanding that even though the child could not feel that pain, we as adults can, and we must … so that we can be free again.

I felt drowned to talk about this fear of being loved and living the dream of a dream life and how this self-sabotage mechanism plays a huge role in this relationship. The twin flame journey has the power to turn our lives upside down and that in itself brings out the shadows of fear. Both twins are experiencing a lot of pain and confusion, even if does not seem that, i.g: to the chaser in the dynamic is hard to understand why his twin runs, when in really he is the one running from himself, because he is still feeling that love is outside of him, otherwise he would not have to chase.

The separation is very much different than the other ones you had before, the pain is excruciating, mental, emotional and physical even. I remember I was so afraid, so convinced that something was wrong with me that I was setting reminders on my phone 5 times a day to forget him. Of course, it did not work, it made it worse, nightmares, sleepless nights, compulsive everything about him, feeling him in my own body and when deciding to cut the cord with him in all way, my heart felt like wrapped out my chest so I couldn’t that and also that smooth voice inside of me, whispering in my year, so kind and warm: “this man loves you, he is good for you, silly, this man is your perfect mirror, if you hurt him, you hurt yourself.” Therefore, I took the decision to follow this crazy path of finding myself and I did, after many separation phases and dark nights.

My experience proved to me that his role in my life is more than romantic but showed me all the parts that I needed healing, so that I can reintegrate those parts of me. Easy to say but living is the hardest part, as my twin proved himself to be not only the greatest love of all, self-love, but also took the role as hole of my life, being an accurate reproduction of my mom and dad – picture that!

This relationship is life changing for me, my heart was closed off, coming from two severe covert narcissists with PTSD and traumas. Believe me that no therapy has been efficient up to meeting him and this is where my real evolving, healing journey began.

As twins, we are opposite – dark and light, from within and between us, helping each other integrate both parts in ourselves, to become whole, as a unique soul. The story is the other way around, we are not healing only the wounds from our childhood, but the wounds from our lifetimes spend apart and finally, our core wound. This lifetime is the life that our Higher Selves decided to reunite, therefore, we have chosen these parents in this lifetime in order to help us forgive our twin, that would come to hurt us in the same way as our parents, so that we can transcend the mind and come back to our true nature – forgiveness and unconditional love. You see, we, as twin souls, committed this journey a long time ago, with the mission of helping humanity to return to its natural state, of love. Placed in families with a lot of pain and darkness in their legacies, we, as light beings, could break the generational curses and, beginning with us, love to flow back in those systems. You can read more about this amazing topic in other articles of mine.

Even if it way sounds a bit mainstream, doing research about twin flames and watching some movies helped me better understand what was happening to me and that I haven’t lost my mind completely, although this was actually happening, I was losing my ego identity (ruled by collective programs) and becoming one with my heart, my true self. The pain of the separation it’s very well depicted in the movie Twilight, the loneliness of your soul living without the other self and shadow – ego self traits, I found it well showed in the movie Queen of the Damned, the constrains of the society, collective programs of the masculine, the process of regaining his power as a divine masculine, and a wonderful reunion example, in the movie ‘The Adjustment Bureau.

You know that at the end of this storm, there’s going to be a rainbow. The most important aspect and the “secret” ingredient, without it, it’s impossible to succeed, is HOPE. Believe, have faith that you are worthy of love and that love always wins! Everything that you are going through right now is preparing you for coming back to love!

So, who are you and where are you in your journey today?  Let’s discover together

Kind reminder! All the information that I give you through my writings and working with me must be passed through your own discernment and your own intuition must tell you the truth and what is good for your soul. Listen do that, please, I am only a guide, YOU are the architect of your life!